When interviewed on the red carpet, she said “I look like Alan Alda in drag.  I’m a tranny.  I’m a man.”

At the time, reporters passed it off as a jovial attempt to cover for her nerves.

However, today she has cleared the air and officially reported: she’s really a man.

Megan Fox was born Mitchell Reed Fox in Rockwood, Tennessee.  From an early age, Mitchell showed an interest in both performing and women’s clothing.  When having a preacher lay hands on him did not ‘cure’ him of these interests, his parents simply put him on the pageant circuit.

By the age of 13, Mitchell had already started a career as a female child performer called ‘Megan Fox’.  Making her debut on an Olsen Twins straight-to-video release, the twins have kept his secret all this time.

As a sweet 16 present, Fox’s parents offered him sexual reassignment surgery, which, given their child’s career, they’d hoped to write off as a business expense.  Unfortunately laws prohibit such surgery to be done to minors.

Since then Megan has been working non-stop, and been included on many Hottest Women lists in publications around the world.

Megan, as she goes by now exclusively, also noted this Sunday how much she wants Salma Hayek’s figure.  She has even scheduled surgery later this month to get it.  After the two met in New York this week, Hayek offered to have a cast made of her bust so doctors can match them exactly on Megan Fox’s chest.

The internet is already speculating whether this news will be worked into the plot of the upcoming Transformers sequel.

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How to be a Clown/Gypsy? Get your Bard/Dancer to 99/50. Strip him/her of EVERYTHING except for 1,285,000 zeny (if you have a wedding ring, it’s ok). Go to the 11 o’clock building in Juno, and talk to the Librarian. Then the book. Then the Librarian again. I forgot the exact procedure, but if you want to be safe, talk to the book again. Then go downstairs and meander around a pointless maze to reach the Heart of Ymir, and you’ll get warped to the Valkyrie’s Palace who’d grant you your rebirth desire.

You’ll have to level as a High Novice again. Once you get to Job 10, just talk to the Archer guildsman in Payon (remember the guy who changed you into an Archer long ago?), and you’re now a High Archer. Levelling now takes about three times the original experience needed.

Once you reach at least Job 40 as a High Archer (recommended: change at 50!!), go back to the book in Juno and you’ll get warped to the Valkyrie’s Palace (don’t bother to find the Heart of Ymir). Talk to the Clown or Gypsy (not the Valkyrie) and you’ll be like him/her immediately.

Levelling as a Clown/Gypsy is slow with the triple experience requirement. You also won’t be happy to know that when you reach base lvl 99, you most probably would reach only job lvl 65 or 66. So the levelling doesn’t end when you get the aura now.

Build-wise, the best step is to probably follow the same build as your predecessor Bard/Dancer, but now with 20 more skill points. You can now finally get a respectable collection of skills (my Clown would have 3 solos and 1 ensemble on top of the typical MS/ML/FJ/Dis/Adp/Encore repertoire, and that’s not including the new Clown skills). However, while pure Battle Bards/ Dancers are not feasible, the Battle Clown/Gypsy idea is worth a thought. If Arrow Vulcan fulfils its promise, it will serve as an extremely respectable damage skill that puts you on par with Snipers. Remember that AV does not require AGI. You can build a 99 DEX 99 VIT and 25 INT monster, wear a carded Buckler, have much better defense than a non-FA Sniper, and still terrorize MVPs and PVP with Arrow Vulcan. Really worth experimenting.

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